In the midst of using all my strength to set aside the “I hope I have a baby today” wishes, I have found a few things that are helping me survive these last few days (please be days or hours, but definitely not weeks) of pregnancy.  This morning when I woke up – grumpy – bright and early and couldn’t stay in bed any longer due to both of my hips aching with numbness from the night, I decided to try to embrace the morning and find joy in waking up pregnant again.

My midwife gave me a pregnancy book that lists the stages and phases of labor.  I’ve been stuck in pre-labor/early-labor for the past few weeks (I’d dare say months, actually).  It says it’s perfectly normal to have lots of contractions and to get frustrated when the phase lasts a long time.  It recommends lots of good rest during this phase and acceptance that it’s a preparatory phase.  I’m also sure it would say it was totally normal for me to have steady contractions every 2-4 minutes for 5+ hours on Thursday, only to find out that I’m now only dilated to 2 cm (I was 4.5 last Sunday – yes, your dilation can go down… depressing, huh?).

I say “pish, posh.”  I’d love to just be “frustrated” rather than fighting the bull-dozing depression and psycho hormone-raging I’ve been faced with this week.  While “lots of good rest” is such a nice idea, I’ve not found that to be nearly as helpful (nor as easy to attain) as these survival tips:

• Chocolate-covered almonds – I’d recommend the giant container from Costco.  The almond part tricks you into thinking you’re eating something “healthy,” though we all know the chocolate is the reason these are sooooo dang tasty.

• Dharma & Greg – I snag a BIG bowlful of chocolate-covered almonds, plop it on my belly (gonna miss that perch for treats, probably) and sit back to enjoy the hilarity of my favorite show.  I’ve got Season One and am pining for the remaining seasons.  This show is great for deep, (hopefully labor-inducing) belly-laughs.

• The BEST husband in the whole world – Seriously, maybe a big reason why this pregnancy has been so dang difficult is to add upon my appreciation of my sweetheart.  He is the greatest guy in the whole world and he spoils me rotten.  He’ll hold me when I’m crying and laugh when I’m laughing, always careful not to laugh when I’m crying since he values his life (this often happens within the same 5 minutes and repeats over and over again).  It takes a REAL man to handle a heavily-pregnant wife with as much love, patience and tenderness as he does every day.  I know it’s crazy to say, but I would be lying in a ditch somewhere with a piece of cardboard over me, waiting for this pregnancy to end, if not for him (you think I’m joking… ha. ha.).

Other than that, I’m just kind of letting things go around the house.  Dishes all over the counter?  Well, at least the kids got fed today.  Toys all over the floor… everywhere?  If the kids step on their own toys enough, maybe someday they’ll finally implement all the clean-up and organization strategies I’ve been working on with them for the past 4 years.  Kids (& preggo mama) in their pajamas all day?  Seriously, is this one really that bad?  I don’t think so.  At least they’re covered.

I feel like I’m regressing.  I was full of nesting urges and the desire to keep my house in order to prepare for baby’s arrival.  However, this led to more freaking out on my part (i.e. kids splashing their bath water all over the floor means using a clean towel and then having to do wash again leading to one severely not nice mama).  Now, I’m trying to just survive.  Does this mean labor isn’t close?  Maybe labor won’t come until I feel the nesting urges fully again.  Aaaackk!!!  That could take forever.  Today I officially have 2 weeks until my due date.  I can TOTALLY survive 2 weeks, right?  Ha. Ha.

A few things that are NOT helpful to survive the end of pregnancy:

• The only thing people can say to me right now: “still haven’t had that baby yet?” (And you still haven’t met your weight loss goals?  Seriously, do I ask you rude questions?  Nope.).
• To which they then ask: “when’s your due date again?” (Totally an irrelevant question to me considering the past few months of just trying to keep baby inside).
• Followed by: “well, you’ve still got some time before your due date.” (Yes, I do… thanks so much for pointing it out.  Please excuse me while I go find a bowl of chocolate-covered almonds to drown my depression in.)

Since I’m not in labor at this moment, it looks like I’ll be attending Church today.  Since last Sunday my whole ward was informed that I was in labor (thanks to my sweet, excited Grandma & the fact that I actually WAS in labor), I’m pretty sure the above-stated, unhelpful conversation will dominate all my interactions at Church today (bless their hearts for their well-meaning, good intentions).  Fabulous.  Looks like I better have a BIG bowl of chocolate-covered almonds ready as soon as I get home… if I can last the whole 3 hours without falling apart into a puddle of tears.

On a small sidenote, isn’t it hilarious how when you’re pregnant the ONLY thing people seem to be able to talk to you about is your pregnancy?  Everyone forgets that your life has anything else within it besides pregnancy; your identity becomes something like this: Quinn the pregnant woman, due September 13th.  All conversations begin with the pregnancy questions and, sadly, they don’t often go past that point.  It’s kind of nice when the pregnancy is over and people start talking to you about your life endeavors and aspirations again, even just asking, “what’s going on in your life?”

So, next time you see me (& my belly is still ginormous), talk to me about the weather, food photography, the rain in Spain or any other topic that doesn’t relate to pregnancy and my smile at you will be TOTALLY genuine.  ;)

p.s. I love you for reading this!  Thanks for letting me ramble and vent a bit.  This is also helping me survive the end of pregnancy.

p.p.s. Sending some preggo love to my sweet friends who are all “still pregnant” today, too.  I know they’re farther along than I am and I do sincerely hope they pop first (as painful as that is for me to wish).

Tagged as: pregnancy